I heard about Dolly Parton's passing last week when I was walking out of the UPS store. I sat in my car and got misty.  It felt kind of silly to cry because I don't know her, but she's had such a massive impact on my life - her music, her humor, her business acumen, how she lead with love but also with principle.  

It also made me think about a blog post I wrote last summer as "what would Dolly do?" was inspiration for the post because one of my favorite stories about her is what happened when she decided to leave The Porter Wagoner Show. Porter had given her an enormous opportunity and played a huge role in launching her career, but after 7 years (2 past her contract being up), Dolly knew it was time for her to go out on her own.

He wasn't happy about it. At all.

Dolly loved him, she was grateful to him. And she left because it was the right thing for her to do.

And the famous song "I Will Always Love You" was written for Porter, and she sang it to him in his office: "we both know I'm not what you need.  And I will always love you." She talks about it in this Fresh Air interview which is worth a listen.

It brings me back to the question "what will people think?"

I had stopped by a friend’s shop to check in and catch up. She asked about life after Erin’s Faces  and how things had been since I closing the month before. I shared that it had been really harmonious and she paused for a minute, then looked at me and said,

“I’ve thought about closing too… but I just keep thinking - what would people say?”

There it was.

And she’s not alone. After I announced that we were closing our doors, I heard from so many small business owners - some who were teetering on the edge of burnout and others who were ready to jump ship tomorrow.

But over and over again, I heard a version of the same fear:

“What if people think I failed?”
“What will they say?”
“What will they think?”

What will people think? It’s such a loud question for so many of us. And it doesn’t just live in business. It can creep into every corner of our lives.

It can also happen with a jury of one - I was talking with another friend who had been taking art lessons from the same teacher for years. She told me she wasn't progressing anymore, her teacher appeared to have checked out, and going had started to feel like a burden. Her joy was gone. And then she shared, “Honestly? I’ve felt like this for five years.”

Five years!!

She kept booking lessons, week after week, year after year, not because she wanted to, but because it felt too uncomfortable to have the conversation. She didn’t want to hurt her teacher’s feelings. She didn’t want to be seen as ungrateful or disloyal.

So she stayed stuck. (Don't worry - she ended the lessons.)

At times we live under the gaze of this imagined panel - it could be a parent, a neighbor, a friend, a client, or even a stranger. And let's be clear - if people are talking about you and not to you, they don't have the full story. They don't know your level of overwhelm, what you want with your life, what your finances are, or that you just changed your mind and want to do something else - they don’t know any of it (nor do you need to explain it).

And yet, we often hand them the keys to our choices. And that stinks.

When I was making the decision to close Erin’s Faces, I wasn’t afraid of what people would think about me. Gratefully, that fear barely registered. What did matter to me, deeply, was how it would affect my team and my clients. These were the people who had given me their time, trust, energy, and loyalty. I felt a responsibility to do right by them (that might be you if you're reading this 😊).

But the opinions of the general public about my potentially being a failure because I was closing my business? That didn't get any air time because I knew why I was closing and I knew it was what was best for me.

I'm so grateful I trusted myself and bet on myself. I haven't always done that historically, and it was the best decision I could have made.

So, if you’re wrestling with a decision right now - whether it’s about your career, your appearance, your relationships, your rest - please know this: you don’t have to run it past the invisible jury. You don’t owe your happiness, your clarity, or your peace to anyone’s hypothetical reaction.

Your choices may surprise people. They may even disappoint people. But we get one life and you're allowed to grow - even if it surprises people.

I've always been glad Dolly made the choice that was right for her. Think of everything that came after it - the songs, the movies, the witty quips, the Imagination Library, the millions of dollars she donated, and so much more. Would we have all of that if she stayed in someone else's shadow?

And that's the thing about making a choice based on what other people might think - you have no idea what might be waiting for you on the other side. 

What if the the question isn't "What will people think?" What if instead it's "What could happen if I trust myself?" OR my favorite, "What would Dolly do?"